tragicturnip:

tautomers:

darecrow:

I did the math and if the Krusty Krab closes at Six and Spongebob always arrives at work at 3 am to count the sesame seeds, and if he comes in every day except Sunday and works at a rate of 8.50 an hour, with a paycheck every two weeks, Spongebob makes $1,326 every paycheck which seems feasible given the Krusty Krabs revenue. So that explains why Spongebob owns his own house still, has a massive library and all kinds of extremities like damn no wonder he can keep affording boating school

i live for the in depth analysis of Spongebob

This analysis has been bothering me for a few days since I saw it, and I think the problem is that it just makes an arbitrary paycheck for Spongebob (and also just makes up facts and disregards other well established Spongebob lore :) )

So firstly, @darecrow is right to say the Krusty Krab closes at 6pm if we accept the Krusty Krab Training Video as our source. We could also take Graveyard Shift instead, where Squidward says it closes at 8pm, but for now we’ll go with the 6pm closing time. What isn’t right, however, is that Spongebob goes to the Krusty Krab at 3am everyday.

Really? Are we honestly going to believe that Spongebob gets up at 3am every day? When NUMEROUS episodes show him waking up in the day for work? In fact, if you pay attention to the background in Employee of the Month you can see that Spongebob is going to bed at 3am after trapping Squidward - surely if Spongebob wanted to win employee of the month he wouldn’t go to bed at a time when he’d usually go to work! Rather I contest Spongebob was lying to Squidward when he said he always counted the sesame seeds; he just wanted to see if Squidward was eating the krabby patties!

But let’s assume he does go there at 3am every day. We can forget the fact Mr Krabs is opening the Krusty Krab at sunrise, which even in the middle of summer only happens around 4-5am btw so that’s at least an hour where SPongebob wouldn’t be able to unlock the restaurant (only Mr Krabs has a key you’ll remember from Pretty Patties). Instead let’s imagine that maybe after the disaster of Employee of the Month Spongebob began to work harder to achieve employee of the month, so he DID go to the Krusty Krab and break in (illegal btw :) ) to count the seeds.

THIS WOULD NOT COUNT TOWARDS HIS PAY CHEQUE!!!

Firstly he’d have to admit to Mr Krabs that he’s breaking into the restaurant, which he would never do as Spongebob loves Mr Krabs. But also it just wouldn’t matter. In the same episode, Squidward tells Spongebob that Mr Krabs does not pay extra for work done, and at the end when Mr Krabs sees the two coming to the restaurant he says it “warms me wallet to see me boys coming in so early“ - if they were being paid extra for coming in, especially from 3am, why would this warm Mr Krabs wallet? He’s a business man, he knows when his restaurant is making money - Nightshift itself showed that people don’t come into the Krusty Krab hours before and after it opens, so Mr Krabs would just be wasting money! The only answer is that they won’t be paid, and anyone who is served is pure profit.

So that deals with the misconception that Spongebob works from 3am onwards and is paid. But what about that random number $8.50 an hour? THis isn’t backed up anywhere I can find. Instead I’ve got a lot of conflicting reports. In one episode, Mr Krabs laments that doubling Spongebob’s wage will give him 2 cents an hour. In another, Spongebob tells us he had to pay Mr Krabs to work initially! Whatever they’re paid, we know Mr Krabs is cheap, so he’d definitely not pay anything above minimum wage. Since Bikini Bottom is next to the Marshall Islands, this is our closest real world equivalent to find a minimum wage. That would mean Spongebob is paid $2 an hour, which us consistent with Bikini Bottom economy and Mr Krabs’ thriftiness. But let’s be fair (if a little unrealistic) and use the US Federal minimum wage of $7.25

At $7.20 an hour, working from 9am (since Spongebob’s alarm on workdays is set for 8am, I’m assuming he gets ready and there in one hour) until 6pm, that means he’s earning $907 every 2 weeks, or £23,587 a year. In other words, SPongebob probably couldn’t afford his own house.

BUT WAIT! As shown in Help Wanted, Spongebob already owned a house BEFORE he got a job. He also had his library, and Gary, and everything else he owns in the show. So it isn’t a question of does SPongebob earn enough and work enough to own a house, but where on earth he got all his money! The answer is obvious.

Viewers will be aware that everyone in Spongebob’s family owns a house. We’ll focus on his parents first, though they aren’t the source of SPongebob’s wealth. In No Free Rides they buy SPongebob a boatmobile for passing his test - this would not have been cheap, and shows just how rich the two are. Moreover, in Home Sweet Pineapple they arrive to take Spongebob away from Bikini Bottom to live with them - obviously they live far away. I propose they are gentified elites, living away from the commoners and in an area filled with other elites. We only need to look at the clothes of Margaret Squarepants to see how refined they are - do you think just anyone could afford that style?

How are Spongebob’s parents so rich then? Certainly not through their own work - his dad’s an office worker, and while this is a very acceptable job it’s hard to see it being enough to afford a house for their son, and a boat, and his wife’s expensive tastes. It isn’t his uncle, who had a very lucrative job as a police officer. No, instead it all comes to Grammy Squarepants.

Bear with me because this is where my position becomes weakest since it relies on external (but canon) media. Grandma Squarepants loves to bake cookies. An ordinary granny activity, no? NO! In the app Spongebob Moves In, Grandma Squarepants is revealed to have invented a snickerdoodle recipe. It is never outright explained, but I believe Grandma Squarepants operates a largescale bakery industry, selling her patented snickerdoodles and cookies to Bikini Bottom and the rest of the ocean.

This is how Spongebob can afford a house, as well as so many boating lessons etc. He is old money. Three generations of Squarepants have benefitted from Grandma Squarepant’s baking empire, and this is also why both Spongebob and his father are able to have so much recreational time i.e jellyfishing etc.

(via girls-ownthevoid)