• me: hozier, u were gone for like 5 days where tf were u?
• hozier: *sheepishly* i'm sorry, my friend. i went to the woods to sing to the birds, but caught a glimpse of a former lover of mine and had to pursue her. i found her among a kingdom of wood elves. it turns out she'd become their queen, and wanted to make me her king. there was a celebration and i lost track of the time. i came back as soon as i could.
• me: *i sigh, partially out of exasperation and partially out of fondness* aight. text me next time tho
• hozier: i will *he smiles, but there is sadness in his eyes. he misses his queen*